DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
