Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
