thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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