You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My cat gives me a boner
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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