what day is it and did you see me today?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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