And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
