Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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