Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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