Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
