so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
