is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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