I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
