Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize