I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
