i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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