i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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