high people should be assigned attendants
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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