went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
