What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
