WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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