ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
