i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
