Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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