I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
