i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize