Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
