He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
