I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
