If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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