When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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