As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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