Last Night in New York (315)

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• (315): View more from New York

  We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."

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• (315): View more from New York

  So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.

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• (315): View more from New York

  We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"

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• (315): View more from New York

  You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

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• (315): View more from New York

  My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...

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  They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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• (315): View more from New York

  he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate

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• (315): View more from New York

  Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun

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• (315): View more from New York

  He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender

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• (518): View more from New York

  WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!

  (315): View more from New York

  ... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...

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