Last Night in Texas (361)

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• (361): View more from Texas

  She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

  (361): View more from Texas

  I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets

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• (361): View more from Texas

  is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Ew! He's just a child!

  (361): View more from Texas

  AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

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