Last Night in Iowa (563)

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?

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