Last Night in Houston, Texas (832)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

  Fav 33 12019 3445

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?

  (713): View more from Texas

  lets deal with that after we figure out where i am

  Fav 21 11547 1663

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.

  Fav 48 11313 1840

  share tweet
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

  Fav 29 9479 1524

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

  Fav 38 9215 2249

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.

  Fav 21 8830 1433

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."

  Fav 11 8659 1401

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.

  Fav 13 7615 1114

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.

  Fav 32 7161 1419

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

  Fav 25 7003 1479

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares

  Fav 22 6980 1190

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.

  Fav 16 6600 1499

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.

  Fav 28 6095 1446

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."

  Fav 8 6025 1317

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT