**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
