Texts From Last Night · Arandomasian's Favorites

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Arandomasian's Favorites Texts:

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(404): View more from Georgia

Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.

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(620): View more from Kansas

I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs

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(602): View more from Arizona

so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.

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(512): View more from Texas

The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

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(361): View more from Texas

Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

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(573): View more from Missouri

i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella

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(443): View more from Maryland

Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.

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