Texts From Last Night · El_General's Favorites

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El_General's Favorites Texts:

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(716): View more from New York

kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

Fav 14 6094 1641
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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

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(915): View more from Texas

I told you I was good to drive

(1-915): View more from Texas

dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

Fav 54 75095 3010
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.

Fav 19 2589 7215
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(909): View more from California

I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

Fav 14 4916 966
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(301): View more from Maryland

he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.

Fav 13 4788 1461
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(971): View more from Oregon

I have two black x marks on my hands.

(503): View more from Oregon

Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'

(971): View more from Oregon

damnit I wish I could remember that.

Fav 58 27725 1894
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