Texts From Last Night · Riffraff90's Favorites

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Riffraff90's Favorites Texts:

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(801): View more from Utah

Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.

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(517): View more from Michigan

hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I have major gossip for you.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh no, did you have sex last night?

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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(586): View more from Michigan

and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship

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(214): View more from Texas

The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.

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(810): View more from Michigan

It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.

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