Texts From Last Night · bgood0302's Favorites

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bgood0302's Favorites Texts:

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.

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(530): View more from California

On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.

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(801): View more from Utah

Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.

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(207): View more from Maine

Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.

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