Texts From Last Night · chrusty's Favorites

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chrusty's Favorites Texts:

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(719): View more from Colorado

Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.

Fav 15 4483 1429
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(573): View more from Missouri

Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you

Fav 11 6685 1882
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

Fav 24 10561 1388
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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

(732): View more from New Jersey

like it was yesterday

Fav 20 12259 1657
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(226): View more from Ontario

This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

Fav 43 14863 2793
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(404): View more from Georgia

I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

Fav 12 4951 1771
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(620): View more from Kansas

He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.

Fav 20 5351 1955
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(305): View more from Florida

Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?

Fav 12 3800 1991
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