Texts From Last Night · coastalblue's Favorites

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coastalblue's Favorites Texts:

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(817): View more from Texas

You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

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(770): View more from Georgia

just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.

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(707): View more from California

the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.

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(602): View more from Arizona

When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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(818): View more from California

Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award

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(209): View more from California

she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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