Texts From Last Night · emma513's Favorites

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emma513's Favorites Texts:

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.

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(410): View more from Maryland

just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.

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(807): View more from Ontario

I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.

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(409): View more from Texas

First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"

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