Texts From Last Night · osteobabe's Favorites

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osteobabe's Favorites Texts:

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.

Fav 6 2279 2882
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(207): View more from Maine

It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.

Fav 8 1184 699
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina

Fav 7 2706 805
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.

Fav 27 5087 1308
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus

Fav 5 1632 860
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(972): View more from Texas

I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?

Fav 13 2163 843
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

Fav 9 2827 935
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(601): View more from Mississippi

He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.

Fav 11 2681 964
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