Texts From Last Night · qwerty1008's Favorites

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qwerty1008's Favorites Texts:

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(810): View more from Michigan

According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on

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(410): View more from Maryland

I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

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(919): View more from North Carolina

We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?

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(905): View more from Ontario

He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer

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(219): View more from Indiana

rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

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