Last Night in Michigan (231)

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"

  (231): View more from Michigan

  OMG its one we used last night

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  so then she threw up in his asshole

  (1-231): View more from Michigan

  yep..that'll do it.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.

  (906): View more from Michigan

  so you're not coming in to work today?

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.

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