Last Night in Oklahoma (918)

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Holy Shit Mom

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  ...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you never keep up with shots anymore

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm trying to be more responsible these days

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.

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