Last Night in Ohio (440)

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  i wish there were pregnant emoticons

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life

  (619): View more from California

  with a huge shlong

  (440): View more from Ohio

  massive. i wanna make bitches cry

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