Last Night in New York (646)

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• (646): View more from New York

  I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.

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• (646): View more from New York

  I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME

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• (646): View more from New York

  he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?

  (212): View more from New York

  hahah yep

  (646): View more from New York

  Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?

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• (646): View more from New York

  I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole

  (516): View more from New York

  Hahaha oops.

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• (646): View more from New York

  I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE

  (646): View more from New York

  HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT

  (646): View more from New York

  GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT

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• (646): View more from New York

  I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress

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• (646): View more from New York

  Our relationship is perfect

  (646): View more from New York

  90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching

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• (646): View more from New York

  Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me

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• (646): View more from New York

  Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf

  (1-646): View more from New York

  So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot

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• (646): View more from New York

  What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it

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• (646): View more from New York

  She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once

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• (646): View more from New York

  The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.

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