Last Night in Michigan (231)

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.

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  so you're not coming in to work today?

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"

  (231): View more from Michigan

  OMG its one we used last night

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget

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