Last Night in California (831)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

• (831): View more from California

  high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.

  Fav 3 1835 807

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.

  Fav 1 2176 1528

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (831): View more from California

  She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs

  Fav 7 3423 1523

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

  Fav 3 940 1698

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.

  Fav 20 6881 1570

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom

  Fav 10 5470 1204

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (831): View more from California

  Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"

  Fav 19 3750 1647

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.

  Fav 21 3021 3844

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.

  Fav 6 2120 1276

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...

  Fav 18 1764 7012

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?

  Fav 80 14873 2884

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (831): View more from California

  I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

  Fav 9 4315 1319

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics

  Fav 15 6672 1242

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

  Fav 16 5031 1489

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT