Last Night in California (530)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.

  (1-530): View more from California

  It's like you're the voice of my soul.

  Fav 0 852 552

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.

  Fav 5 728 500

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.

  Fav 2 1846 648

  share tweet
  

• (916): View more from California

  Are you setting a date to bone me?

  (530): View more from California

  Are you accepting?

  Fav 5 1737 659

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me

  Fav 4 551 918

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.

  Fav 1 1053 886

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me

  Fav 1 1289 643

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

  Fav 6 1368 612

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.

  Fav 4 823 520

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places

  Fav 4 733 546

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.

  Fav 2 1228 599

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  How on earth did you break your wrist?

  (1-530): View more from California

  I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing

  Fav 2 1836 653

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?

  Fav 6 1011 646

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.

  Fav 11 2120 914

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT