Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  some bitch filled my sink with salsa.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"

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  I am the fairy godmother of the drink.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling

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  The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.

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