Worst Nights of All Time

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired

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• (408): View more from California

  hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

  (650): View more from California

  nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???

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• (407): View more from Florida

  my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.

  (510): View more from California

  YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!

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• (209): View more from California

  he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period

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• (281): View more from Texas

  had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  What?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a yeast infection.

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• (518): View more from New York

  my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...

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• (323): View more from California

  Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

  (1-323): View more from California

  We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

  (323): View more from California

  Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

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