Texts From Last Night

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(305): View more from Florida

I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door

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(562): View more from California

Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.

(575): View more from New Mexico

Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?

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(417): View more from Missouri

He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.

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(425): View more from Washington

oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture

(1-425): View more from Washington

this is why i will never break up with you

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(812): View more from Indiana

You fucked him, didn’t you?

(317): View more from Indiana

He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!

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(410): View more from Maryland

and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot

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(512): View more from Texas

i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.

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