Texts From Last Night

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(212): View more from New York

Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg

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(901): View more from Tennessee

It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.

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(214): View more from Texas

I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator

(214): View more from Texas

and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership

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(512): View more from Texas

Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled

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(217): View more from Illinois

Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now

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(949): View more from California

Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises

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(804): View more from Virginia

I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way

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