it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
