Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
