Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My first STD was from a foam party
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
